A middle-aged couple came to my office – she was near menopause, and he was not far from andropause either. Even though they started to fade biologically, love was still there, in a way.
I had known them for quite a while, but our paths rarely crossed. Seeing them again reminded me of the saying, “Only eyes speak the language of love.” The way they looked at each other was telling it all. “There’s no sun without light, nor a man without love,” was another saying that sprang to mind. The need for safety in relationships inevitably cerates sorrow and fear.
Their biofields told me straightaway that she was having a cervical myoma, and general weakness was impossible to miss in his biofield. I felt it wasn’t the right time for her to find out about the myoma, because she would take it very badly, given her general condition.
I continued to observe the couple. In casual conversation, biofields open for diagnostics in the most beautiful way, because the patients do not think about their expectations as much, and they no longer fear what they might hear from me. The longer they talked, the more I learnt about their problems, like peeling back one layer after another.
They were a childless couple, and theirs was a karmic relationship, in which they were to learn their lessons side by side.
They had been together in many lives. What I could see from their overlapping biofields was that they lived together in the old, great Roman Empire. He was born to the wealthy upper class, and she was a passionate courtesan. They loved each other very much, but their love was impossible because social circumstances forbade it. Doing what she was for a living, she had frequent abortions, and since she prevented so many souls from coming into this world, she couldn’t have children of her own in this life. He killed her love by not fighting for it, and in this life he was learning how to make it all up to her.
In this life they had been wondering around for quite a while before they found each other. It all started very well, but as most couples their age, they got lost in the coordinate system of life.
Friendship replaced the passion a long time ago, the sex was gone from their marriage, and eventually they were swallowed up by their personal fears. He was an incredibly gentle person, with impeccable manners – a true gentleman. She was very capable and confident, a very unselfish person, seemingly cold yet tender inside. He needed a mother, she needed emotional shelter and peace. That’s what had brought them together.
The most common problem for all couples, including these two people, is that even though they love each other, they are prepared to do only what they see fit from their angle. They forget that love is to work on the potentials of the loved one, to listen to your partner’s heart, in the total absence of selfishness. Love is an inspiration we can offer to the loved one, a motivation for what our soul wants to achieve through its actions.
She was cold to him, yet ready to do absolutely everything for him. She had built a wall around herself he couldn’t possibly bring down. She would shy away from him, in bed they were brother and sister, and around him she was uncomfortable with doing even as mundane a thing as changing her clothes.
He would do anything for her, too, but she would keep him away. Unconsciously, he escaped to his own routines and obsessive-compulsiveness, a life of punctuality, failing to notice that his escapes were driving her crazy!
The problem is that eventually we all get selfish, looking at things from our own angle only.
He was a kind-hearted person, ready to wait for her forever, because he adored her. Yet he was giving her his love from his most comfortable position, without ever asking himself what she really needed. He wasn’t ready to change, but had been accusing her instead. He didn’t fight the way she could understand, his words would never get through to her! She was looking for an intimate adventure, but he was giving her a romantic routine. Their paths diverged much too often, and eventually as a couple they waned.
For him she was a devoted mother, but her cold ways would often make him cry. Deep down, she belonged to him entirely, but in public she acted as if they were not a couple, which hurt him immensely. She would shut down to spare him her problems, which made him suffer even more. She wasn’t aware that she was crushing his delicate soul with her iron fist, she had taken off the warm, soft glove of a long time ago.
They loved each other, but both withered.
Nourishing within the energy of a cruel mother, she created a perfect setting for a reproductive cancer. He, on the other hand, not only had changed nothing in his obsessive-compulsiveness and selfishness, but maintained his fragility, too, paving the way to general weakness and a near collapse.
Everything they did together was degraded to responsibilities and obligations, which they called love! Does love know of responsibilities and obligations? There is no love in obligation. The structure of an obligation is such as to kill the human being falling in its trap. As long as we do something out of a sense of obligation or responsibility, we don’t love what we do. Where there’s love, there’s no obligation or responsibility!
How to solve it then?
Mutual accusations lead absolutely nowhere. It’s only a road to degradation and health deterioration, breaking all the invisible threads linking us to others.
If you do care about someone, start with yourself, but trying to understand what that person wants, rather than what’s the easiest for you to do. The latter is just a thinly veiled form of selfishness.
Don’t expect anything in return, just give, unconditionally!
Don’t be passive in your complains, and don’t curse your fate – take action! Let your actions inspire the person by your side! Be compassionate, not selfish – give love, expecting nothing back. Change yourself, not the person you love, because that’s the only way to get love and all the blessings intended for you. Don’t look for excuses, don’t be selfish! Be sympathetic, that’s the only way for you to get love, and everything your soul needs.
I couldn’t say all this to the couple, because our relationship didn’t allow me to, but I know they read the posts on my blog, and I’m sure they’ll know that this one’s for them.
Another thing. Just for them, “I’m there for you.”