Ever so often someone would come in angry, with their hackles up, which I take it is always a good opportunity to talk over a nice cup of tea.
- How can I NOT be angry? Everything in my life drives me mad!
- This life is given to you to experience peace, happiness and all kinds of bliss.
She stared at me in such intense disbelief that I began to fear that today I’d be paying for all her troubles, with hot tea in my lap at best.
Perhaps, I could have told her:
She, too, was aware of that large organism, calling it God. She, too, shared the need for harmony, but today of all days someone had recklessly cut in on her, which threw her off balance. She started complaining at the door and just couldn’t stop, stringing accusations, one after another. It was my turn to cut in on her:
Perhaps, that man was rushing to the hospital to see his sick mother for the last time? Isn’t that possible? What do you think?
Silence. Hardly anyone would consider the possibility though… Anger is a learned response to something we consider “injustice”. She didn’t like what I said, blushing. Having excused herself, she went to the bathroom and returned shortly after. She looked right into my eyes, and said:
- If it were my mother, I would drive exactly like that.
- Me, too.
Genuine spiritual peace filled the room with compassion and understanding. A door was opened to the healing part of the conversation, over a cup of tea, of course.
What is anger, actually?
Anger is just like any other destructive emotion. It has potential to destroy, and the first thing it will destroy is our own peace.
Your Ego may step in front of a real-life mirror, and see a disaster:
That’s not easy to handle, I give you that. We have all been raised against very high standards to look up to. In a desperate effort to meet them, we tend to trick ourselves, because we really want to be the best versions of ourselves. The Ego will never let us see anything less than perfect, rushing to heal our wounded vanity with anger. There’s always someone else to blame, isn’t there?
Why are we angry at other people?
Being angry means demanding control over everything you are angry about. It is a display of weakness, because we cannot deal with our failure.
Let’s rehears constructive thoughts! The person or the situation that caused anger have been sent to us to make us see our realistic situation. Can we accept the lesson the universe has sent to us? Are we ready to change?
My anger and I
No one says that traffic is a wonderful thing. It’s not that we live in an oasis of peace and virtue either. Negative influences accumulate all around us, but they should stay on the surface, like a bur on your clothes. What happens to the bur when you get back home? You clean our clothes in front of the door, and get in unstained. The same goes for the accumulated energy, especially if we are seriously working on our spiritual growth. It’s a very natural process, unless you want to let that energy in, and unleash serious problems.
What should I do when I get angry then? Get out of the car and take it all out on the driver? Better than to swallow it, right?
The offence is here, and it’s up to us to take it as an opportunity. If you take the anger out on someone who’s been sent to help, you’ll will poison your soul and your body. Not only will it throw you off the path of personal growth, but water the seed of sickness for you, and even for your children. Think very carefully, you might have learned the patterns of anger and reactions to anger from your parents.
These questions might be a good starting point for a much needed work on yourself:
- What did I do to cause this behaviour?
- What can I learn about myself from this?
- Why, in fact, am I angry?
These questions will bring you back to yourself, and connect you to the source of unlimited, pure energy you need so much. You may think you have done nothing to deserve the situation, but don’t miss a chance of taking all the power of the universe as a gift. Let the anger heal you by the love fulfilling the universe.
Smile at every insult
Admittingly, it’s hard to believe that every idiot behind the wheel has been sent by the universe with a lesson exactly for you. Where so much distrust of the universe has come from? If someone has overstepped their authority, there’s someone to dispense a punishment and a reward. You must have heard of the law of karma? The laws of the universe are not like ours – connections will not help you there.
What to do when face to face with an angry person?
First, try to remember that it’s not easy to be angry. Don’t add fuel to the fire. If you don’t know how to deal with it, back down. If you have practiced how to manage your anger, it won’t be difficult for you to handle the situation either. What you need when you are angry is the exact same things other angry people need.
The opposite emotion will defuse the explosive reaction. Love and compassion will fall down like a gentile rain, putting out the flames of anger and rage. Remember that the person next to you cannot be immune to kindness, no matter if they can actually show a new emotion right away. You cut in on their path of anger and, most importantly, both of you have triumphed.
Work on yourself, and give others the same chance. Dealing with other people, even with their anger, creates an unhealthy relationship and, by extension, emotional debts. In a word, when time has come for the person to pay for their anger, your name, too, will be on the invoice.
- So what do I do with that grumpy newsstand lady, making my life miserable every day? Whenever I buy my cigarettes, she’s frowning at me as if killed half of her family….
- Smile at her as if she’s just sold you a winning lottery ticket. And quit smoking.
These two ladies came together next time