The theme I’ve been exploring for a long time is what’s meant to be and can’t be changed, and what exactly depends entirely on us. People like to say that absolutely everything depends on our actions. You may have gotten the impression that I, too, advocate this point of view. There’s a very fine line between the two though. I’ll tell you where my line of thinking has led me:
I remember a gorgeous girl talking to me in my office – even up close, I was unable to find a single flaw. She was well educated, and – I know I repeat myself – extremely beautiful, but also an honest person and a kind soul. She should have lived her life in peace and serenity, but she didn’t. She was in love with the “wrong guy,” and what they had had exhausted them both, leading nowhere. They had been in that semi-relationship, so to speak, for quite a while already. Even the tiniest message from him, a simple SMS, would make her extremely anxious. From what she was telling me, I could say that for him, too, every contact with her was a distressing experience. Simply put, they were on different wavelengths, and couldn’t understand each other, however eagerly they might have been trying.
Without referring to him directly, I tried to explain to her in so many different ways how detrimental it was for her to live in such discomfort. I was looking for a way to get through to her. Everything I did would have only ephemeral effects on her – she would leave my office full of hope, with a strategy up her sleeve as to how to proceed, only to return, devastated, having stumbled back into his arms again. She couldn’t resist him.
Once I told her:
“That young man is in your biofield, and there’s a fairly strong connection between you two – I believe you know that. You could learn so much from each other, but it won’t happen, because both of you are much too stubborn, and blinded by illusions. Are you aware that if you married him, you would live like a prisoner? You wouldn’t have a life, he would torture and even abuse you, and that pathological relationship would make your children suffer. A perfect setting would be created for different sorts of illnesses, misfortunes, for all kinds of degradation and destruction, as the energy structure of your family would be extremely negative. Given the energy of the surroundings, he might even kill you, and you should know that.”
“What did you just say? I’ll marry him?” she asked, her face glowing with happiness and excitement.
She didn’t ever hear what I was saying to her, let alone understand my words! She could only receive the piece of information she had been pathologically tuned to. She heard only what she wanted to hear, nothing else. I was utterly shocked.
Something similar happened when a good friend of mine asked me to help her best friends, a childless couple. They had never believed the stories like mine, but they heard of the many couples I helped after traditional medicine had failed repeatedly.
My friend came in with them, but then left them alone with me, so that they would feel more comfortable. After a diagnostic procedure I explained to them why they couldn’t have children, and what they should do to change that. They accepted it, nicely. Everything went routinely, and they left my office quite pleased.
After a couple of hours, my friend called me, and said:
“Hadn’t I eavesdropped on your conversation, I would have called you not only clueless, but also a very bad person. As soon as they left your office they gave a completely different account of what had happened inside. You explained to them in what way they were responsible for not having children, and made it very clear to them what they should do to change that, but they said it wasn’t their fault, and that they should change nothing. I told them I had listened in to the conversation, but they were still wildly keen to convince me to the contrary, and I realised that it’s not that they didn’t understand what you were telling them, but that they only heard what they wanted to hear.”
The ego is a mischievous, deceitful and dangerous adversary!
I felt the urge to deal with this very seriously, as I was wondering if I might have failed to communicate my message properly. It wasn’t that though. It was something completely different:
The Vedas say that dharma denotes something given to us in this life that can’t be changed, whereas karma is the part of life we create alone. To my mind, it’s only the beginning of our life that is clearly defined against the backdrop of what had been experienced until that moment. By arrangement with the Source, we pin down the proceeding point in this life, depending on the lessons we are yet to learn and those learnt already, along with unlearnt lessons from our past lives. How far we will go depends on us, but the final destination is the same for everyone. Not a single lesson will remain unlearnt! And, what’s the result of the learning process? Absolute peace and serenity in this cruel world full of outside traps, temptations and troubles. Another permanent postulate is that if we cross the line, and start tarnishing our own soul, and other people’s souls, we’ll be withdrawn from this life immediately.
Hardly ever does a soul comes back for a lesson so small and to be learnt so quickly that it’s taken to the next life straightaway. This happens when a child dies unexpectedly.
Everything else is our own work!
That was my greatest dilemma – Why do people beat their heads against the wall repeatedly, never coming to their senses and even coming to an end right there? Is it possible that they are so blind to see, or that they can be such fervent masochists?
That’s where the answer lies! For some people it’s the suffering they need to learn in this life. Theirs is a difficult journey, a set of unlearnt lessons, atonements and opportunities to deserve better. It’s their journey, and we mustn’t interfere too strongly, as that would be a disservice to them. The rules of the universe allow them to get rid of that, but people are usually much too lazy to try, as it might seem unchangeable to them, or at least impossible to change.
You may be wondering if such cruelty can really exist. It’s yet another piece of evidence that this life is not the only one, and that there’s always a very long journey ahead of our soul to become something out of nothing, and identify with the Creator, the Source!
With this in mind, what we can do is to explain to those in trouble – lovingly and compassionately – where they go wrong, and offer help, but above all, we need to respect their decision, even if it’s to go on beating their heads against the wall. We are not closing our doors to them though. They should be made aware that they can always rely on us if they decided they needed help, but also where the line is they cannot cross, threatening our lives if they do.
In the end, just remember, everything can be changed if you want it to be, but only in your own life! As to those who are not you, some things should stay exactly the same as they’ve chosen them to be, however difficult it is for you to understand. That’s what they have to pay to save their souls, and not all of them will succeed. A mystic said a long time ago, “Few are chosen, but the few are enough!” Cruel, but true.