When in trouble, people usually can’t see a way out. They often write to me, asking for help. As it happens, strikingly similar problems and conditions tend to repeat themselves. I’ve chosen what I believe is a situation illustrative of many:
“Please, advise me. I’ve been stuck for a year now. Having made some poor business choices, I hit rock bottom. Even though I’m currently unemployed, I still have my goals and visions, but I’m afraid of failing again. Of course I want to move on, but it’s difficult to deal with this recurrent stop-and-go pattern. I listen to people around me, instead of listening to my heart. What is happening to me? Thank you in advance for your answer.”
If you stay right where you are, and keep doing what you’ve been doing – despairing, that is – nothing will change. If you want to change the situation, you need to do the following:
STEP 1: Decide to move on
Unless you decide to move on, nothing will change spontaneously. You should make a decision in your thoughts, and then shape these thoughts as to keep focus on your goal. For your brain it makes no difference if you’ve already experienced something, or you’re just dreaming about it. If you occupy yourself with the pleasant thoughts of a dream come true, your brain will generate the energy that corresponds with your thoughts. Under the law of attraction, the energy that has the same frequency will be attracted. This is more than enough to start with.
Focus on the materialised goal in a healthy way, and in order to make it happen, I’ll explain the process to you. To begin with, you should provoke a pleasant feeling within, as if something good has happened to you. Such feelings invariably improve your energy vibration, which is a sign that the resistance of your mind releases.
Your resistance is the only thing that keeps you from bringing about all those wonderful things that you need, or wish for. Everything you think is bad in your life exists only because of that resistance to your natural wellbeing and blessings the Source has intended for you.
STEP 2: Don’t turn back
If we were meant to walk backwards, we would have had eyes in the back of the head! There’s no past, it’s over, there are just the threads keeping us tied to whatever we might be trying to get back.
Let bygones be bygones, and accept the situation is as it is, however difficult. You did what you did, the best you possibly could, the way it’s meant to be. What’s done is done, and we need to let the past go. If we say, “But I can’t stop thinking about it, I’m sorry, this is so hard…” Well, the way you feel about is precisely the way you’ll feel forever, and worse. It’s up to you to decide if that’s what you want. If it is, it’s your fault, because it’s your decision!
You need to understand that now is basically a place from where you move to the next. If you are looking back, you are looking into nothing, because what’s done no longer exists. And you are stuck, while life goes on, into what’s next.
STEP 3: Don’t judge yourself, others or the situation surrounding your problem
Mark my words: judging has never done anyone any good, and it can’t be good for you either. Judging will just tie you harder to the problem, dragging you down to the lowest point of the condition you are trying to find a way out of. I repeat, whatever happened, happened. You should accept that it was your lesson. You are not a flower in a vase, ornamental and immovable. Be flexible and open, make reasonable compromises and remember that nothing bad will happen if you want a better life or admit that you might be wrong.
In the end, however nasty your experience might have been, it had a purpose. Think about this: when something bad happens to you, something you never wanted to happen, you know exactly what you want. Perhaps it’s precisely why the inconvenience is “sent” to you, as you might have started to lose sight of your vision, or locked yourself into a place that’s bad for you.
As at that point a strong, involuntary reaction has been caused, you should use that energy to take action. Don’t despair, that’s exactly the opposite of what you should do!
STEP 4: Don’t worry!
As I’ve said so many times before, thoughts are the energy that attracts. Whatever it is that you may be occupying your mind with, that’s exactly the kind of energy you’ll attract, shaping your life.
To worry is to lock yourself in a dungeon. It’s only a matter of perception, and you should know that no one can emit energy vibrations instead of you, because it’s your thoughts that are in your head. Only your own thoughts and their energy vibration can affect the quality of your life.
It’s high time you accepted that the feeling of absolute peace and serenity that some emotions can create, as opposed to the feeling of extreme restraint and helplessness caused by worrying, depends only on you choice and involvement.
STEP 5: Learn your lessons!
There’s nothing wrong with problems and failures, but it’s so very wrong if you don’t understand why they happen. A failure lays the cornerstone for a future success. A mistake makes your wish stronger, and a fall creates the energy to propel you towards your goal. Life is not a straight line, but a sine curve going up and down, the bottom section just whipping you into shape through lessons, realisations, flexibility and positive changes. The upper part is just a break in a cycle called life. You can’t possibly want to be at the highest point of a roller coaster all the time only because you like the view. The beauty lies in going full circle; don’t limit yourself.
Refusing to learn a lesson is like driving to a destination completely blind to the traffic signs along the road, warning you that not only you’ve taken a wrong turn, but that you are driving in the opposite direction, too. Once you reach the wrong destination, it’s either fate or someone else that you blame.
You can always steer yourself back to the right direction, and the sooner you realise you’ve taken the wrong turn, the faster and more comfortable your journey will be. The key to accepting your life the way it’s given to you lies in the conscious choice of what we will think about, while being very careful about what kind of a feeling a specific thought or event may create inside. If you are not aware of the feeling, you can’t know where you are. Remember, a bad feeling shows that what’s happening to you is in conflict with your soul, and vice versa.
STEP 6: Transform your emotions!
Do you feel fear? Understanding precisely what you feel will help you find out how much you are open or unavailable to something you want. The worse you feel, the less permissive you are to a connection with the Source, isolating and cutting yourself off. The better you feel, even when it’s sheer imagination and pleasure that caused the feeling, the easier it will be for you to connect with the Source. This will open the door to every blessing intended for you.
How to do it?
I’m jobless, it’s so hard for me → I enjoy my ideal job.
I can’t afford this, I’m penniless → I have enough money for everything I want.
I’m single, and I feel bad, because I don’t have an emotional partner → I’m in a great emotional relationship with a perfect person for me.
The key is in your hands, don’t hesitate!
STEP 7: Make a plan
Once you have realised that there’s nothing more important than you feeling good, you’ve reached a critical point on your journey; you’ve decided to take your life in your hands, and open yourself to all the blessings coming from the Source. You know where you stand, and you know that you are responsible for your thoughts and actions. You’ve chosen to move forward, without looking back.
Focus on what belongs to you and what you want, and step forward.
STEP 8: Walk straight on – that’s where you belong!
When you know where you stand after something happens, or right before it happens, it’s time to move on. It goes without saying that you are responsible for every moment of awareness of what happened, where you are right now and where you should go!
With a little practice, the process in which you can understand and plan a segment will give you the feeling that you are capable of dictating all outcomes, recognising all the details and embellishing your life experience by yourself.
You need to know the difference between this process and dreaming of the unattainable. Do not focus on a distant, imaginary goal. You’ll only suffer, because your wrong choices will make it impossible for you to feel it. Enjoy the process of creating what you want, and be present in each and every fragment of the creation.