Why Some People Have it Easy – and Others Don’t?

In my last lecture, a debate was sparked over one of my articles. The question was if we could love literally everyone. My answer was “YES!” Many said “NO” though, offering their personal experiences to illustrate the point; they gave love, but were betrayed, hurt and didn’t get love in return. The result was exactly what I expected it to be, and frankly, wished for – their answers pieced a diagnosis together, having echoed their internal state.

How selfish can people get?

Why do we always have to get something?

Can something start from us unconditionally?

As long as you give expecting something in return, it’s not love. It’s a simple trade? Trade! And in trade, all’s fair.

I give for my own sake, expecting no reaction. If I don’t expect any reaction, I’ve already got what makes me happy. That’s giving! Why would anyone else’s reaction hurt me then? The reasons vary from expectations, selfishness, and a lack of interest in the other person to a lack of compassion and understanding…

Why is life so complicated? Why mine isn’t as beautiful as yours is to you? – a middle-aged woman asked from the last row, hiding behind the others.

You need to understand that you were not born into paradise. No blessings are guaranteed. You are here, on earth, where you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, feeling no anger when things don’t go your way. Change yourself, that’s how you grow. Don’t expect the world to adjust to you. The awareness will make you improve against the backdrop of your karmic lessons, the heritage of your ancestors and parents and your entire life… You can do the opposite, too, but don’t complain how hard your life is, how much you’ve been giving, getting nothing back…If this is your conscious choice, just swallow hard, and put up with the painful rotting you’ve chosen for yourself…

Life is an unpredictable game, and the only way to learn the rules is to observe the laws of the universe.

Temptations are like earthquakes, testing our will, endurance and strength, trying out the fundamentals of our being! The temptations guide us through the world of feelings, driving us into the dark waters of our weaknesses, right into the traps of the ego. To resist, the love within must overpower hatred, anger, judgment and all other poisons of choice. The temptations are like tornadoes and hurricanes, checking if our mind will lose direction, or see clearly nevertheless.

If you say that we keep learning from one life to another, how come I repeat my mistakes? Why don’t I remember what I’ve learnt? – another lady asked.

No one is coming to this world with clear knowledge about who they are, why they are here, what exactly they are supposed to do and why. For quite a long I, too, knew nothing. To be born is to enter into matter, overwhelming a soul so much as to take memory away. If you were able to remember, what would be the point? This life is a new lesson, and there are no shortcuts. You have to fight. Always! A lesson learnt elevates your consciousness, making it easier for you to grow. An unlearnt lesson deepens anger and denial, leading to destruction.

When you complain, you criticise, judge or experience another negative feeling, which is a sign that you are facing an unlearnt lesson and the ego rebels, misleading you. It’s the worst possible moment for you to give up and shift the responsibility to someone else, or find an excuse. Look right into yourself, and work on yourself! It’s easy to complain, but it will get you nowhere. It’s just a path to a different agony, dissolving your life in pain and despair.

You see, as soon as I got sick, I scheduled doctors’ appointments right away and was really taking good care of myself, but with no results. It was all an exercise in futility. Just a long string of new diagnoses, new drugs, new tests… Why? – a man from the crowd asked.

The body we inhabit is a fabric made of different fibres, just like the pullover you are wearing. Your physical body is sick, because you are not using the fibres strong enough to endure the strains your life has in store for you. You scheduled the appointments with your doctors, expecting a magic pill to solve your problem. A shortcut rather, to avoid self-involvement. Instead of taking care of your fabric, you let others deal with it. Each loom is unique, to be used by the owner only. You were just randomly tying up the loose ends, creating the knots you’ve been unable to untangle since. Yet the fabric’s kept ripping apart, because there are rules. Time goes by, but you are still looking the wrong way, expecting salvation. Unless you start working on yourself very seriously, the knots will be wherever you look.

What does the strength of the fibres depend on?

The thoughts and feelings you’ve been fostering inside. Weaving is a skill mastered by self-involvement! Imagine a thought threading from right to left, and a feeling from left to right, waving an action together. A physical body is just the action materialised. Depending on the fabric, whether it’s delicate or rough, soft or easy to tear apart, we can identify the mental and emotional state of the weaver. Love is the strength keeping the fibres together and each firmly in place, and it’s wisdom that makes the fabric strong.

A difficult situation is no excuse! You may say that it’s hard for you to succeed in your country, and it’s not exactly a thriving setting for you, but hear me out: It’s your fault! Look at the trees in a wood – they grow very close to each other, on a stony, dry soil even. Every tree wants to spread its branches, but the surrounding crowns can make it impossible. The tree is wise though. The tree knows and feels when to grow up high, where there’s always enough room for freedom. Next time someone or something tries to tie you up, rise skyward, towards wisdom. Work on yourself, and right there will be a haven in the light of the knowledge of the universe, in God.