No one was convicted and punished by a challenging situation. A crisis in life is not a “punishment” as we imagine it. We can find ourselves in a crisis for different reasons. Maybe we ourselves are responsible for bad choices, wrong reasoning and behaviour. Even in this case, the crisis is not a “punishment” but a logical, by far the only possible consequence. It is very important to recognize this difference, because then we will stop feeling like victims and tremble with some more, evil force that sends us some misfortune by punishing us for something. The universe or God is not a hostile force from which we are separated and from which we should suffer.
Why do we no longer see, in fact, feel the beauty of life? Why do we become anxious and why do we constantly get stuck in some problems, stuck in some situations? What are we doing wrong?- asked the student.
You may not like this, but we’re not here to enjoy it. We were born to go to life school and take exams. This means that life is a series of challenges. However, this is not to be feared of.
Sorry, but if you tell me that life is a big series of crises and problems, I don’t see how I can relax and be scared? How should I feel? What is the right attitude to the crisis?
Let’s go step by step. You must first accept your own karma. When you really do, half of it will be easier. It is necessary to accept and understand the situation, and then start working with your life.
What does it really mean to accept a crisis?
A man who does not accept his situation all the time feels like a victim. They cry, condemn themselves, others, struggles with questions: Why me? Why exactly does this happen to me, etc. They want to change the situation. They want to return to a world where the crisis has not yet taken place and where their situation has not changed. This is a rejection of the crisis! The man who has accepted the crisis understands that nothing is too much of annoyance and self-pity – it is the most common distraction from other people. They understand that energy should be directed to changing oneself, not situations. He who realizes that the threads are in his hands, that he has to develop by adapting and who perceives the current situation as set parameters in which he needs to develop himself further – he accepts the crisis.
In a crisis, I can say it myself a million times, to think so, but I don’t feel that way.
Remember, emotion is just an outpouring, an impulse of energy without colour, smell and taste. What determines its quality is actually the mind. So if you can think that way, you will feel that way soon. I do not know if you familiar with this fact, but psychologists have already realized that self-confident people make specific positions of the body and are secreted in the body by a cocktail of certain hormones. If someone who feels no security takes the same position of the body as that typical of a self-confident person, after a while, a hormone cocktail similar to that secreted in the body of a self-confident person will start secreting itself. Soon, therefore, the person will begin to feel secure. To be honest, if the emotion is strong, if it rages and irritates us, it is difficult to discipline the mind. Depending on the type of crisis, this turn is different.
Explain that to me, please.
There are emotional crises. For example, imagine a middle-aged woman, on the threshold of menopause, who had a quality marriage, to whom marriage is very important, and who works hard around her husband. One day, while tidying up a table in the kitchen, a message arrives on her husband’s mobile phone. Quite by chance, she looks over and sees that it’s a message from a woman who pretty clearly indicates a relatively intimate conversation between them. That woman’s world is crumbling. She experiences a whirlwind of intense emotions – betrayal, self-pity, injustice, emotional hurt, shame, etc. In such a situation, the mind will hardly be able to take the “right” stance and take control in the short term. In such a situation, it is correct:
Do not analyze anything first, because the mind is disturbed and cannot clearly see the situation.
Then, it is not necessary to backfill with the same essence. That is, do not fill the emotional crisis with emotional quasi-solutions. In our example, it would be wrong to immediately find a lover for revenge on your husband.
Conversation is necessary, but only when the mind calms down and takes control. In order for it to take control, it needs to move away from the emotional chaos and occupy itself with other content. Ideally, get away from everything, travel somewhere, go with a dive club, go to a dear friend who lives in Paris and who is not too close (to avoid shaking up her husband’s situation), start a good project at work… into a world of a different quality. In my experience, occupying different content has to last long enough to allow the emotions to really cool and the mind to calm down. Minimum one month. This is the correct procedure when a crisis has already occurred and a fire has started.
On the other hand, if a crisis manifests itself as being stuck in a situation where we are deeply dissatisfied but in which nothing changes or happens, the correct answer is different. For example, someone graduated from college and by no means found an adequate job. Options are very limited, working conditions unacceptable, salary shamefully low, energy poor. In this situation, the correct answer is not running away somewhere else. Then I need to distinguish between form and essence – I need to grasp the essence and look for another form that would give the substance a more adequate expression.
I don’t understand.
What, for example, is the essence of a medical call?
Right on! Did I have to be a hospital employee and wear a white coat to heal people?
I’m not sure… I guess… – he was unsure answering my questions.
No. I do not have to. I had a friend with whom I studied medicine. We studied together. He always learned only what was necessary to pass the exam. I, on the other hand, adored medicine, often “wasting my time” doing digressions, reading additional literature that was loosely related to the topic of the exam. We met the other day. He works in a health centre, has a secure job and a relatively low salary. He wears a white coat. During the conversation he said to me:”Well, you see, I ended up as a doctor and you became a guru.” I ask him:”Are you satisfied with your job? Do you love it?” He replied:” Oh no, I hate it. I am not paid enough, the conditions in the health centre are terrible, we are overwhelmed by the administration, those patients are just crying, they expect us to do miracles in those conditions, I, as a general practitioner, do more as a crossover than I treat… ” -he replied. “You see, I really love what I do. It brings me great money and a lot of flexibility. But you know what’s best? People come to me because they need help and seek a cure for their soul, for their mental state, for a chronic health problem. They come all the time because they feel I am helping them. I am healing their soul, and it is their body and life. ”
I understand – he answered and added – I understand my homework until the next meeting.