You Just Think You Live

In my office there was a young man was old enough to be responsible for his actions, but also young enough to be inclined to deny some truth about himself.

He had a problem of frequent inflammation of the urinary tract and the recurrence of some of the polar diseases he claimed to have had no one to receive and that they themselves had appeared.

Already in the first few sentences, I have concluded that there was a serious emotional problem. In fact, he was extremely emotional, eager for romance and love, but on the other hand he was emotionally enriched to receive the same, so he ran away from every opportunity to happen to him. He was full of divergence and collisions with himself. He wanted love and ran away from it, he wanted to be successful in his business, and he acted immature, he wanted respect, and he ruined his life. He had a million answers on every one of my questions, and every one of my answers had even more questions. He was extremely infantile and occupied the position of an adult. It simply could not come from either side. Every challenging confrontation with himself, where he did not have a response, he was ashamed and spoke for himself the disrespectful words.

People often have no response to something pushing themselves down, thinking no one can humiliate me as much as I can, so my ego will be easier.

That’s the truth. Only the ego manipulates, falsely depreciates and as soon as the storm continues, it continues along the old.

In what way do you explain that full-blown diseases are coming back to you, in fact, how do you say you have them constantly, as if you do not respond to therapy because you feel the problems constantly? “I asked him.

I do not know, but I really did not have anyone to get them. I do not have time for that.

Full diseases are an indicator that you do not love yourself, to undermine your foundations in the deepest place. Under the velvet of the expected normal life, a heavy rejection and self-indulgence under the carpet is pushed. In this way you hurt others. Does that have to do with you?

No, he said ready.

What’s your day like?

I get up, I work all day, my job is very stressful because the superior does not understand me, I’m killing myself from work and they do not notice this and do not allow me to do everything that is necessary and right.

And what is needed?

So be all by the rules.

Whose rules?

By the rules of the job.

The rules of work or your obsessively compulsive illusions that amass your insecurity?

He looked up visibly and started with countless explanations and questions which he himself knew were pointless. I just waited to get rid of it, so I continued.

Where were you this weekend?

Nowhere, I was not able. I was tired of work and I came out on Friday and Saturday, a famous DJ came and I stuck it.

Do you have any of your photos from this party?

I have – he showed me.

Were you drugged?

I wasn`t. Can you see it? I took only half of the ecstasy – he was visibly upset.

What are you running out of?

What do you mean?

Is that why you are not in a state of being in an emotional relationship?

What does it matter now?

Are you afraid that life will pass by you and you will not use it in the right way? Are you going to be captured if you get into an emotional bond and that life and better opportunities will pass?

Yes – he said it significantly, scared but surely.

So do not you see that you are just doing what leads to what you are afraid of? You work all day, amortizing your insecurity. So you run from confrontation with your handicap for love. And so the opportunities pass by you! Then you drop into the virtual world of powerful emotions under the influence of a synthetic drug where you do not need anyone else except powerful sensory sensations caused by powerful sounds, lights, and chemistry inside you. You think you’ve got a dose of the desired emotion, and you’re actually just empty it. In such places, and you find it hard to meet someone who is not the same as you. So empty you’re going back to the ride you want to sleep while waiting for a new dose of instant “safe” emotion. An enchanted, negative circle that even more enriches you. And you really hope that one day you will succeed with another person in this kind of training? I think you will not even welcome it because none will be “perfect”, because you will look for ecstasy experience in everyone.

He was silent and only blinking his eyes that were dry and shiny, which he left at the party of the previous weekend.

You must allow a relationship with normal people who have no problem like you, with someone who will inspire you to something different from what you are in now. You do not have to run away from them. Your life will not pass and there is no better opportunity, we form it ourselves.

We often want something in our own uncertainty, and in fact we are running away from it. We play life and we make it fake and in fact we are suffering for the right ones. We are throbbing in everyday life and then we shoot at the seams under the umbrella of what we call the discharge of the valve. Fearing that we do not miss life is actually not even aware of it. We hurt ourselves and we are not even aware of it. We hurt others, all under the pretext that it should have been so and that the real opportunity awaits us. Then the first darkness and we buy a ticket for vitreous synthetic feelings whose illusion profoundly destroys the ability for true emotions. And so we fall into a vicious circle, a whirl of cold and solitude.

What does this have to do with my problems and diseases? – asked the young man.

The root chakra is our base, our life and foundation, it is at the level of the genitals. Full diseases represent inability and refusal to love ourselves, and this condition also kills love in others. The inflammation of the urinary tract is the inability to express emotions, suffering within ourselves, and insensitivity from outside, fleeing from oneself.

But I do not kill others’ love, that’s why I’m alone so that I do not hurt others. When I’m ready to find someone.

Running from somebody does not mean that we have painted this pain, but vice versa. Do you really think that it can only do so, decide and be in a happy relationship? Do you really think that anyone will wait for you or receive you back after such injuries that you have caused to someone? Do you really think that in places of loneliness you can find someone capable of healthy emotions?

So what should I do?

Start from the beginning. First stop running into the imaginary world of enhanced ecstasy sensation. Look at yourself in the learning and face yourself and your life. Start to grow up, it’s time. Become responsible for yourself and all those around you because of you. Do not kill love in others because of your abominations and cowardice. Do not run away from yourself and others. Be where you are and do not crave for something you think is tomorrow. Take responsibility for your life and realize that it’s all your responsibility and that it’s in your hands.

A lifeline is not just a drug, it’s also life routines that we do not notice. Time spent on social networks or some other applications on a mobile phone, video games, bookmakers, pathological obsession with healthy food, etc.

Wake up, it’s time, it does not hurt and it’s nice!

One thought on “You Just Think You Live

  1. Dragi Žarko u pravu si, lepo je buditi se za život iako zahteva mnogo truda, odgovornosti i sagledavanja sebe. Šteta je što mnogi mladi ljudi beže od života na razne načine, pa mislim da će ovaj tvoj tekst mnogima pomoći…
    Pozdrav !

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