Shadows are hidden in the deepest part of our being and they represent its darkest part. They represent rage, jealousy, condemnation, self-condemnation, indignation, guilt, shame, hatred, lies, intolerance, impatience, manipulation… They are unintegrated emotional charges that our soul wants to transform into light. If you transform the aspect of the shadow, your positive energy will work for you and not against you.
For example, the aspect of self-esteem can be transformed into love for ourselves and self-acceptance.
When the shadows go out to the surface, do not be angry and unhappy, try to be grateful, because that means most of your energy is mobilized and that moment has come to turn darkness into light.
Do not be angry with the world around you, because it is just a mirror that reflects the things which can be found within you.
How do we transform shadows?
I will give an example of a client who complained that immediately before coming to my house he was hurt by a clumsy man who was standing in front of him in the queue in some store because he was slowing down the speed at which this one wanted to take place.
The first thing you need to do is become aware of the current emotions that have captured you and locate them from where they come from. In this case, it was an anger.
Then, accept that the cause is not beyond you, but within you and do not waste your energy on the reactions and possible conflicts with the outside world that are there only for you and your lesson.
The next thing you need to do is to think about what it is, in that special case, what you attach to others, but it is actually yours! In the mentioned case, itwas anger with himself as a child, because he often experienced insults from his father (a policeman) who told him he was clumsy, that he was not a real man and that he was not ready and agile as much as he expected from him. During his growing up, he became very agile and capable, but the man remained angry with himself, blocking many aspects of his life, but he could not figure out the causes because the shadow was deeply hidden behind a feeling of lower value.
What this man should do is to forgive himself as a child. To encourage this child, tell him that it is ok if he is sometimes trapped and that everything does not have to be perfect. It is sometimes normal to make a mistake and show weakness.
You can do a lot for yourself in the lightening of your shadow, where you encounter an obstacle you can not solve yourself – find an expert therapist.
What I strongly recommend to you is to look occasionally in the mirror, especially when there is a moment that will remind you of the existence of shadows and you raise questions of this type out loud, of course, adapted to the situation:
Why do you hate that person, which part of them resemble you?
What are you angry about, which part of your personalitu you do not accept?
Why do you judge, what part of it you want to disappear?
What is the reason for your anger, what can you not tolerate with yourself?
Why are you jealous, why are you insecure, who decides on that?
What is the cause of lying, what do you want to hide, what part of your life exactly do you want to hidr or you are ashamed of?
There are many similar issues that can lead to a painful, unintegrated, emotional charge that we have pushed into a deep drawer of our mind and we do not want to remember. You can also combine questions. The moment you feel hurt or your ego opposes you with the sentence:”It is so not true!”, you should know that is exactly the moment you have hit in the center of the target.
When an external trigger that makes an uncomfortable condition turns on, be happy because you are offered the opportunity to get rid of a blind passenger, an unnecessary load that does not let you get better. Do not sink the deeper darkness of your shadow, but light it up. There is no shade in the light.
Pay special attention to those situations that are constantly being repeated. They are an alarm that wants to warn you that you have long ago ignored the mature, painless, intangible emotional charge that is already threatening to hurt you seriously.
Always ask yourself again what is in the outer world that causes anger, rage, condemnation, jealousy, hatred, lies, shame, and so on and it is actually within you. What you are angry about, what can not you accept with yourself, what you are embarrassed about, why you are unsure about yourself, why you are jealous etc.
Do it yourself and not others. The cause is always within you. Everything that happens outside is just a mirror that shows you what to do with you and that the moment is perfect and you are finally ready.
Working on understanding and calming down our own shadows opens up new chapters in our lives and leads us towards all the benefits that are intended for us. But above all, it provides us peace and joy that are the basis of a healthy and happy life.
And know that while you are living – shadows will emerge from their dark circles. Do not get angry with yourself, it is a normal process, you do not worth less because of it. Those who say that they are saints without dark sides – they deny their existence, and in fact, such a position is a shadow. Just relax, travel and brighten your shadows.
Working on ourselves is the basis of a good life, but also an obligation that we were born with. Do not be lazy, because this is about you, not someone else.