Sorry, I am late. That bloody neighbour drove me up the wall again! She’s so irritating, that women; just seeing her in the hallway on my way out makes my blood boil, the client says to me.
What does it have to do with how uneasy that awful, idle woman makes me feel? She ambushes me every time I leave the flat!
Any unease you may feel about anything or anyone means you have detected a similarity. There’s an aspect of you that you are not happy with, and the other person is just a painful reminder. By projecting antagonism onto others, you are denying a problem you have yet to identify. Subconsciously, you are turning a blind eye to the truth, in a display of your own inability to face the problem.
What are you talking about? She’s a sloppy frump, and I’m working my socks off to look beautiful! What on Earth can we have in common? And what’s that subconscious thing I might be turning a blind eye to?
It’s your fear that you are exactly like her.
Foster respect to others to attract love.
By nourishing love within, you are creating a healing atmosphere for your own imperfections. By dealing with your flaws, you are paving a way to personal growth.
To be able to show love and respect to each and every human being is to be in tune with the perfect frequency of the energy of the universe. It is all around us, bringing peace and calm to every aspect of our lives. Isn’t it a strong enough motive for you to try?
Quite often I hear my patients say, “How can I possibly love Mr/Mrs so-and-so who did that-and-that?”
I always answer with a question:
Do you really think you can get love if you hate already? Like attracts like, it can never be any other way!
People always have an explanation ready, however lame. They often say, “I love that person, but I don’t love the other, for one reason or another…”
I tell them:
Imagine the person you love the most, and think why you love them, and what makes them so special. Now imagine this: Perhaps the person you hate now, in your past life was the very same you now love. Would your hatred have been as strong?
You can try this, too. It’s an easy mental experiment. I can guarantee your hatred will go away.
There is a wonderful Serbian proverb, saying that a kind word can open iron gates. Sadly, we tend to forget it.
What’s your initial reaction when things don’t go your way? When, say, you are in a long queue, and you can see the bank teller is in a very bad mood? Do you say something bad out loud, or just keep it to yourself? Glancing at him nervously? Hardly anyone would think that he might be having a very bad day, too… Have you ever tried to begin with a smile? A joke, perhaps, or just a kind word? Try it, the result may surprise you.
I was coming back home from a long trip, with two suitcases full of titbits I had bought along the way. The luggage was delayed, because the layover had been very short. The standard procedure is that the luggage service office should send the luggage to your home address, but Instead of the doorbell, I heard my phone ringing. My suitcases were yet to be cleared through the customs controls, and they asked me to come to the airport.
My first thought was that something was wrong, and that things were about to get complicated. I think that pretty much everyone would expect the same. This should have been a cue for me, a genuine Serb, to get angry at the customs service, get scared, rush to the airport all mad, and give them an earful.
I chose to do exactly the opposite. Instead of anger, anxiety and fear, it was the thoughts of understanding and love I had sent to precede my arrival. I went to the customs office, and there was a lovely, middle-aged woman waiting for me. I smiled at her sympathetically, showing that I understand the situation. She’s as much in it as I was! She’s not exactly thrilled to have to see me either.
We exchanged a couple of polite sentences, and I wanted to open the suitcases for her to see what’s in them – that’s was the reason why I was there, wasn’t it? She took my hand, and said that if I promised there’s nothing but my personal belongings in there, she would believe me. No need to open the luggage.
I chose the kindest words to tell her that I respected her duty, and that it’s no trouble at all to help her do her job. I opened the suitcases, and when she was done, I gave her my book. She thanked me, saying I made her day and that people usually argued and made scenes instead.
Perhaps, I made her day, but it was me leaving her office with a smile on my face. Just a little understanding and compassion earned me a lot of positive energy! Instead of two sad, exhausted persons, two people were smiling on their way home that day. It takes so little for such a wonderful gift, and everyone has a myriad of opportunities to share it.
Give, and it will be given to you. Don’t forget:
Whatever you give out to others, will come back to you. You’ll get back as much as you give. There are no exceptions to this law.